BODY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GET BACK IN BED

Last night, I went to bed at an early three AM. And then I woke up at 6:12 AM. WHAT ARE YOU DOING BODY IT IS NOT TIME TO BE UP YET. But as much as my eyes protest, body is like TIME TO WAKE UP AND DO THINGS IT'S SO GOOD TO BE ALIVE!!

This is what I look like now:
I am not pleased.

Also, because my friends are super hilarious and say weird things, I have screen capped little snippets of our conversations and am going to put them up here for the whole internet to see without their permission! You guys will love me for this. It is true.

Note: If you've seen Axis Powers Hetalia you will understand this

Anyway, I think I would like to take this opportunity to explain why I dislike pork.

I don't know why, but I have this inexplicable dislike for most things pig-like. I like bacon and sausage, but it pretty much ends there. I do not like ham, I do not like pork chops, I do not like the way the pig looks, or the way they snort. I just don't like pigs. My family cannot for the life of them understand why I hate pigs so much and frankly neither do I.

When other people see this:

I see something like this:

So apparently to me, pigs are like Green Berets that breathe fire from their nostrils. It's not that I'm scared of pigs, I just hate them very much. You'd think that would make me more prone to eating them, but this is not so.

But I can get that way about any food. I've gone through multiple periods where just one certain kind of food made me want to barf up my organs and jump off a cliff so I could be eaten by the Lock Ness monster. Like there was a time when I couldn't eat spaghetti or any other tomato-sauce pasta, or when I couldn't eat sandwiches because I hated the consistency of bread. Ham is just something that I cannot eat.

I can't eat cake much either, because when I eat more than a few fork-fulls I feel like my insides are going through a sugar-war.

I wouldn't be adverse to eating horse though. I don't see what purpose horses serve anymore. :I But I've never liked horses much- in fact, they kind of scare the bejesus out of me. So do beetles and the dark and people's hands near my face. Or just people in general. In small groups people are okay, but I hate crowds because I always feel like there's some kind of conspiracy to make me look stupid in public. And that's why I hate grocery stores. Especially Wal-Mart. I really hate Wal-Mart. Except for the fish. I like looking at their fish.

THIS POST IS OVER

EDIT;; Upon further review, I have added hotdogs to my list of pork products that I will eat.

AWESOME